turn off your phone and go to bed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?