You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone