I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.