Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut