My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.