I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.