There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
