What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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