hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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