yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize