I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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