Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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