I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
