If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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