she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
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im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
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They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong