oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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