I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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