I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize