So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize