she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
