Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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