haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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