my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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