i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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