I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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