bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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