but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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