I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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