I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You did what with his pubic hair?
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