Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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