I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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