i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?