Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
