I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
