i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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