She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
