We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
