He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
worst night to have a conscience
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize