She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
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I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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