just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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