This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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