thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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