If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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