escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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