Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
