Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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