Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
