I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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