i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
