so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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