Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
