Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
please come you make the beer taste better
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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