Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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