don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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