dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
